Human Sexuality

Chapter 8

Sexual Attraction, Arousal, and Response

What pulls two people together, and what happens in the body when desire takes hold?

Think about the last person you felt drawn to. Now try to explain why. You will probably reach for the obvious answers. They were good-looking. They were funny. They were your type. But some of the strongest pulls of attraction come from things you've likely never considered.

You are drawn to people who feel familiar, even when you have only seen them in passing (Reis et al., 2011; Bornstein, 1989). Your brain quickly registers the size of other people's pupils, which can signal mutual attraction (Lick et al., 2016). Your nose may be quietly screening potential partners for pheromone signatures of their immune systems (Wedekind et al., 1995). All of these processes happen automatically. Much of it never even reaches your conscious awareness.

Most aspects of attraction don't fit neatly on a dating profile. Apps are very good at showing you a face and a list of hobbies. But they cannot transmit how someone smells, the sound of their voice, the timing of a shared laugh, or what happens to their pupils when you walk into the room. These are the in-the-moment, face-to-face signals that create the true "magic" of attraction. Some researchers argue this is why so many promising matches on dating apps fall flat when meeting someone for the first time in person (Finkel et al., 2012; Joel et al., 2017). The "chemistry" of attraction cannot be replicated on your phone.

8.1 What Draws Us Together?

The saying that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" suggests that attraction is purely personal. What one person finds gorgeous, another might see as completely unattractive. However, this isn't how attraction works in real life. Across cultures, people tend to agree more than you might expect on what looks attractive. Researchers have traced many of these preferences to our shared evolutionary roots. We seem to be tuned in to cues that signal health and fertility, often without knowing it.

Reading the Face

Faces carry a lot of information, and we process much of it in a tiny fraction of a second (as little as 0.03 seconds!). One factor is masculinity and femininity. Estrogen limits bone growth in the lower face and brow, which tends to give women smaller chins and larger-looking eyes. Testosterone does the opposite, building a heavier jaw, chin, and brow. On average, people rate more feminine faces as attractive on women and more masculine faces as attractive on men, and this preference shows up across most cultures (Penton-Voak & Perrett, 2000). When researchers use software to generate faces, the most feminine female faces are rated most attractive, but the most attractive male faces sit a few notches below hyper-masculine. Extremely masculine faces start to read as threatening, which works against their attractiveness.

Two composite male faces side by side; the left face is a low-testosterone average with a narrower jaw and brow, and the right face is a high-testosterone average with a heavier jaw and pronounced brow ridge. — **Figure 8.1.** Facial composites (averages) of low-testosterone men (left) and high-testosterone men (right). Notice the differences in the brow ridge and jaw line, the areas of the face where testosterone has its largest effects.

Symmetry is a major factor in facial attractiveness. Most faces have small asymmetries that we notice only subconsciously. The more symmetrical a face is, the more attractive we tend to rate it (Jones et al., 2001). Why would that be? One possibility is that symmetry signals good gene expression and robust health during development. When our faces and bodies develop in the womb and during puberty, asymmetries can result from momentary lapses in nutrition and health. If one of your ears is larger than the other, it may mean that your mom wasn't in top physical health while you were forming those ears. A perfectly symmetrical body implies a well-developed body, which is a useful indicator for a person's general health and fertility. It may also be that asymmetrical faces are simply harder for our brains to process, which makes them literally harder to look at (Khazan, 2014).

A chart from a facial-symmetry experiment showing that noticeably asymmetrical faces are rated far lower in attractiveness than moderately or perfectly symmetrical faces. — **Figure 8.2.** People prefer symmetrical faces. In an experiment by Lee and colleagues (2021), faces manipulated to be perfectly symmetrical were not rated as much more attractive than faces with moderate symmetry, but faces that were noticeably asymmetrical were rated far lower in attractiveness.

A woman with neotenous facial features: large eyes, a small chin, and rounded cheeks. — **Figure 8.3.** Women with "baby faces," large eyes and small chins, are rated as warmer and more trustworthy.

Another factor is neonatal featuresi, often referred to as "babyfaced" features. Using computer-generated faces, researchers find that we are drawn to slightly childlike proportions in women: larger eyes, rounder cheeks. One idea is that we transfer our warm feelings toward children onto adults who share those features, creating a desire to nurture and protect them. This effect depends on context. People tend to favor baby-faced female political candidates but not male ones, and baby-faced male doctors but not female ones (Lee, 2013). Perhaps we look at neonatal features and infer "warm" qualities, like empathy, kindness, and trustworthiness, which we typically want in women and male doctors.

Multiple Choice

A designer uses software to morph one male face along a range from very feminine to extremely masculine, then asks people to rate each version. Which version is most likely to receive the highest attractiveness ratings?

AA version slightly less masculine than the most extreme

BThe most extremely masculine version

CThe most feminine version

DA version exactly halfway between feminine and masculine

Reading the Body

The body signals attraction as well. One of the most studied signals is the waist-to-hip ratioi. In women, a ratio around 0.7, meaning the waist is 70% of the circumference of the hips and bust, is rated most attractive by men around the world (Singh, 1993). When researchers analyzed the measurements of Playboy models and Miss America contestants, most landed near that exact ratio, and the same 0.7 preference shows up when lesbian women rate other women (Cohen & Tannenbaum, 2001). For men, broad shoulders matter more, which is driven primarily by testosterone. The common thread is that fat distribution is shaped by sex hormones, which in turn track fertility and health.

A row of female body silhouettes with different waist-to-hip ratios, highlighting the 0.7 ratio as the most attractive. — **Figure 8.4.** Around the world, women are rated as most attractive when they have a 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio.

When it comes to a person's weight and body mass, culture plays a larger role in what people find attractive. When men in Western cultures rate bodies shown without faces, they tend to prefer women with a body mass index (BMI) between about 18 and 22, which is thinner than the average of 29 BMI for women in the U.S. But this "ideal body" shifts with time and place. In the 17^th century, fuller bodies signaled wealth, health, and happiness. In parts of the world where food is scarce, fuller figures are still preferred. One study followed Zulu men who had moved from South Africa to Britain. At home they preferred women with a higher body mass. After eighteen months in Britain, their preferences had shifted toward thinner female bodies (Tovée et al., 2006).

A distribution chart showing the range of body mass index values among women. — **Figure 8.5.** BMI distribution of women.

Beyond the Visual

Attraction is not only about what we see. Voice matters too. In general, men prefer somewhat higher-pitched women's voices, and women prefer somewhat lower-pitched men's voices, partly because pitch signals our hormones (Apicella & Feinberg, 2009; Feinberg et al., 2005). Testosterone causes the vocal cords to thicken during development, resulting in a deeper, steadier vocal tone (Puts et al., 2006). In one clever study, when women believed they were leaving a voice message for an attractive man, they unconsciously raised the pitch of their voices (Fraccaro et al., 2011). Subtly shifting one's vocal pitch up or down is one way we flirt with the opposite sex.

If the eyes are the window to the soul, they may also give away our deepest desires. When you're looking at someone you find particularly attractive, your pupils will dilate, doing all they can to take in their visual image (Rieger & Savin-Williams, 2012). This may be why we find faces more attractive when they display dilated pupils (Lick et al., 2016). This is a subtle social signal that the person we're looking at may be attracted to us.

A close-up of a person's eyes showing noticeably dilated pupils. — **Figure 8.6.** People prefer to look at faces with slightly dilated pupils, perhaps because if someone is looking at you with dilated pupils, it might mean they're attracted to you.

During the Renaissance, women used drops made from the belladonna plant to dilate their pupils. This was just another form of make-up, like lipstick and blush. The name belladonna even translates to "beautiful woman." There was a dark side, though. Belladonna is one of the most poisonous plants known, and heavy use of these drops could blur and eventually ruin a woman's eyesight (Atropa bella-donna, n.d.). If you read old stories from this time, such as the Canterbury Tales, you may run into portrayals of old, lustful women who happen to be blind. The subtle joke is that the woman likely went blind from overusing belladonna (Rinard, 2020).

Then there is smell, which may be the most surprising sense of all. Humans can detect a huge range of odors, often at concentrations far lower than we assume (Hoover, 2010). Most people in Western cultures want partners to smell clean, which has built an enormous market for soap and deodorant. But in small doses, natural body odor can be a draw. Several studies find that the body odor of women is rated as more appealing when they are near ovulation, and that higher estrogen levels track with more attractive odor (Lobmaier et al., 2018; Moshkin et al., 2011). Scent preferences also line up with sexual orientation. People tend to prefer the body odor of the groups they are attracted to, with gay men preferring the pheromones of other gay men over straight men (Martins et al., 2005).

An erotic dancer at a club, illustrating a study on how ovulation affected tip earnings. — **Figure 8.7.** A study by Miller and colleagues (2007) found that when erotic dancers were ovulating, they made 50% more in tips. Conversely, when they were menstruating, they made 50% less than average. Could pheromones be the explanation?

Pheromones may advertise clues about our immune systems. In a famous study, women smelled t-shirts worn by different men and rated the scent by its attractiveness. Women consistently gave the highest ratings to the scent of men whose immune-system genes, known as the major histocompatibility complex (MHC)i, differed the most from their own (Wedekind et al., 1995). From an evolutionary angle this makes sense, since pairing with a genetically different partner could give offspring a stronger immune system. A later study found that women's MHC-related scent preferences can even shift when they start using hormonal birth control (Roberts et al., 2008). The study found that women who developed romantic attraction toward men while on birth control sometimes lost that attraction after getting off birth control. For this reason, some psychologists recommend only going on hormonal birth control after establishing a romantic connection with a man.

Closely related are pheromonesi, odorless chemical signals secreted in sweat that may play a role in attraction. In one study, men who wore scentless cologne designed to mimic the male pheromone, androstadienonei, reported more sexual activity with partners. These men reported no change in masturbation or self-reported sexual desire, which suggests the pheromone made them more appealing to their partner, rather than simply more aroused themselves (Cutler et al., 1998). Other work links sniffing male pheromones to lowering stress levels and increasing sexual desire in women (Verhaeghe et al., 2013). The research here is still developing and sometimes contested, but the basic point holds. We are often under the influence of chemical cues we never consciously detect.

A bottle of cologne marketed as containing human pheromones. — **Figure 8.8.** While there are many perfumes and colognes sold online that claim to mimic pheromones, most studies that have directly tested them show no effects beyond placebo (Rihter, 2024).

Multiple Choice

In the well-known study where women rated the smell of t-shirts that different men had worn, whose scent did women tend to find most appealing?

AMen whose immune-system genes were most similar to their own

BMen who used the most soap and deodorant

CMen whose immune-system genes were most different from their own

DMen who had the highest testosterone levels

The Psychology of Attraction

While looks and chemistry matter in the game of attraction, much of our experience of attractive traits comes down to some simple psychology. Start with similarity. Despite the saying that "opposites attract," our best evidence runs the other way. We are generally drawn to people who share our attitudes, values, and interests. This is known as the attraction-similarity hypothesisi (Montoya et al., 2008). One reason is reciprocal likingi: simply knowing that someone likes us tends to make us like them more (Backman & Secord, 1959). We're most attracted to people who find us selectively attractive, such as a person who chooses to flirt with you and you alone at a party (Eastwick et al., 2007). Another reason similarity breeds liking is that similar people validate our view of ourselves and the world, which feels good. Self-verification theoryi captures this idea, proposing that we prefer partners who reflect back a version of ourselves that matches our own self-image (Swann et al., 1992). A partner who sees the world the way we do gives us a comforting sense of being understood.

Two similar-looking people enjoying each other's company, illustrating that we are drawn to others who remind us of ourselves. — **Figure 8.9.** The attraction-similarity hypothesis posits that we tend to look for others who remind us of ourselves, not just for romantic relationships, but also for friends and work colleagues.

Proximityi is another factor. We tend to form friendships and romances with the people we just happen to live and work around, mainly because we tend to run into these people again and again. It is why coworkers who spend long hours together so frequently end up dating. A classic study of students living in a dormitory found that friendships formed most strongly between students whose rooms were closest together, simply because they crossed paths the most (Festinger, Schachter, & Back, 1950). Proximity works hand in hand with the mere exposure effecti, the tendency to like things more the more we encounter them (Moreland & Beach, 1992; Zajonc, 1968). This effect is remarkably broad, extending to faces, foods, songs, and even nonsense words (Bornstein, 1989). If you want someone to see you as more attractive, simply find ways to be around them more. There is a limit, though. Too much familiarity can dull desire, a process called habituationi that helps explain why sexual frequency often declines in long marriages (Call et al., 1995).

Two people repeatedly crossing paths in a shared space, illustrating how proximity builds liking. — **Figure 8.10.** Simply running into the same person over and over again can make you like them more. "Familiarity breeds liking" also helps explain why we like songs we hear repeatedly and why we find food we've had since childhood comforting.

One of the strangest ways people can become attracted to each other is through misattribution of arousali. Sometimes we feel our heart pounding for one reason and mistakenly read it as attraction to whoever happens to be nearby. In a well-known 1974 study, men who crossed a high, wobbly suspension bridge were more likely to feel attracted to a woman they met on the other side than men who crossed a low, stable bridge (Dutton & Aron, 1974). The fear from the bridge got rerouted into romantic interest. Their body was all fired up, and when their attention rested on the woman on the other side of the bridge, they jumped to the conclusion that she must be the cause. If you want to use this effect to your advantage, take your date somewhere thrilling or even a bit scary. Whether it's watching a horror movie or going on an amusement park roller-coaster, if you can get their heart pumping, they may just misattribute that arousal to you!

So attraction is far more predictable than it feels. Even so, it is not a formula. How we see another person keeps changing as we get to know them, and the qualities our interactions draw out can matter more than any single trait on this list. The cues described here open the door. What happens after that is a more personal story.

An illustration introducing a summary table of psychological factors that influence attraction. — **Figure 8.11.** There are many psychological factors that play a role in attraction. See the table below for more examples.

A table summarizing psychological principles of attraction, including similarity, reciprocal liking, proximity, the mere exposure effect, and misattribution of arousal.

Multiple Choice

Sam takes a first date on a roller coaster. Afterward, both are breathing hard with racing hearts, and the date says they feel surprisingly drawn to Sam. Which concept best explains the date's sudden attraction?

AReciprocal liking

BThe mere exposure effect

CSelf-verification

DMisattribution of arousal

8.2 The Body Responds: The Physiology of Arousal

So far, we have stayed in the realm of the psychological. Now we turn to the body. When arousal builds, a lot happens beneath the surface, and almost all of it traces back to two basic physical processes.

Two Core Processes

The first process is vasocongestioni. This simply means that blood flows into a region faster than it flows out, so the tissue swells. This is what leads to erection of the penis or clitoris during sexual arousal. For men, the spongy chambers inside the penis fill with blood and become engorged. This requires the arteries feeding those chambers to widen to let more blood in, while the veins that would normally carry blood away get compressed, trapping it. In young men this can happen within seconds, though it tends to slow with age, alcohol, or fatigue. Erection can be triggered by physical touch or by erotic thoughts alone.

In people with vulvas, vasocongestion drives erection of the clitoris. The inner lips also swell and open, and the inner part of the vagina expands in what is sometimes called a ballooning responsei. Yet another result of vasocongestion is vaginal lubricationi. During arousal, the capillaries in the vaginal walls widen and blood flow increases. Fluid then seeps through the vaginal walls, producing lubrication. Like erection, this is fast, usually starting within ten to thirty seconds of arousing stimulation, and it too can be slowed by age, alcohol, or fatigue.

A diagram showing how increased blood flow engorges and changes the shape, size, and sensitivity of genital tissue. — **Figure 8.12.** Vasocongestion, or increased blood flow, can change the shape, size, and sensitivity of tissue. Extra blood not only engorges tissue but also causes nerves to become more excited.

The second process is myotoniai, or increasing muscle tension. This is what makes a person's nipples stand at attention when stimulated. Nearly every physical sign of arousal you can name is the result of one or both of these processes at work. Our basic map of these processes comes from the landmark research of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, who observed thousands of cycles of arousal and orgasm in their laboratory and published their results in 1966 (Masters & Johnson, 1966).

A close-up showing an erect nipple, with the small muscles around the areola tightened. — **Figure 8.13.** Nipples harden during arousal as the small muscles in and around the areola tighten, causing the nipple to pop outward.

Multiple Choice

A physiology student is asked what penile erection, clitoral erection, and vaginal lubrication all have in common. What is the best answer?

AThey all come from increased muscle tension in the area

BThey are all controlled by the sympathetic nervous system

CThey all come from blood entering the tissue faster than it leaves

DThey all require direct physical touch in order to happen

The Brain and the Spinal Cord

None of this would work without the nervous system. Many of our core sexual responses run on simple spinal reflexesi. Erection, for instance, can be produced by the sacral nervei low in the spinal cord. Touch to the genitals or nearby areas sends a signal to that nerve, which then tells the muscles around the penile arteries to relax, allowing extra blood to flow in. This is why some people who are paralyzed from the neck or waist down can still have erections, even though the brain's signals cannot reach their genitals.

An anatomical diagram of the lower spinal cord highlighting the sacral nerve and its connection to the genitals. — **Figure 8.14.** Much of the arousal and orgasm functions of the genitals come from signals and processes that lie in the lower spinal cord, known as the sacral nerve.

But the brain is still very much in the loop. Erotic thoughts, memories, and images can trigger arousal entirely from the top down, with no physical touch required. The two routes, reflexive and mental, normally work together. When engaged in sex, people tend to rub their bodies and have sexy thoughts at the same time.

There is also a useful division of labor in the nervous system. The buildup of arousal, including erection and lubrication, runs largely on the parasympathetic branchi of the autonomic nervous systemi. Orgasm and ejaculation, by contrast, run on the sympathetic branchi. Keep that split in mind, because it becomes important in the next section.

Multiple Choice

A man has a spinal cord injury that blocks signals between his brain and his genitals, yet he can still get an erection from direct physical touch. Which idea best explains how this is possible?

AErection can occur as a local reflex that does not need input from the brain

BErotic thoughts are still reaching his genitals through the bloodstream

CThe sympathetic branch takes over erections once the brain is disconnected

DMuscle tension replaces blood flow as the cause of erection after an injury

8.3 Models of the Sexual Response Cycle

Once arousal is underway, how does it unfold? Researchers have answered that question in several different ways over the past 60 years, and the story of how the models changed is itself a great example of how science corrects itself. Each model fixed something the previous one missed.

Masters and Johnson: The Original Model

Masters and Johnson proposed the first widely used model of sexual response, based on their laboratory observations (Masters & Johnson, 1966). They described four phases. Excitementi is the initial buildup of arousal, driven by vasocongestion. Plateaui is a period of high, sustained arousal before reaching climax. Orgasmi is the brief, intense peak of arousal and pleasure we experience during ejaculation or vaginal convulsions. Resolutioni is the return to a resting state. The model was groundbreaking because it was based on direct measurement rather than guesswork. Most researchers today, however, fold the plateau phase into the late part of excitement, so you will often see the cycle described in three stages rather than four.

A line graph of Masters and Johnson's four-stage model of sexual response: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. — **Figure 8.15.** Masters and Johnson's original model of arousal has four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

A graph showing three variations of the female sexual response: pattern A with multiple orgasms, pattern B reaching a high plateau without orgasm, and pattern C with wave-like ups and downs. — **Figure 8.16.** Masters and Johnson later amended this model to include the varied experiences of women. In the updated model, some women show the typical arousal pattern, with some experiencing multiple orgasms (A); some who get close to the pleasure and peak arousal of orgasm but never quite reach it (B); and others who experience ups and downs in arousal, more like waves than a simple building toward orgasm (C).

Kaplan's Triphasic Model

Helen Singer Kaplan, drawing on her work as a sex therapist, noticed a gap in the original model: it skipped desire entirely. It described what bodies do once things get going, but not the wanting that gets them going in the first place. Her triphasic modeli recast sexual response as three somewhat independent components: desire, vasocongestion (the swelling of excitement), and the muscular contractions of orgasm (Kaplan, 1974, 1979).

Kaplan's approach more closely fits the biology of sexual response. Remember the nervous-system split from the last section. Vasocongestion runs on the parasympathetic branch, while orgasm runs on the sympathetic branch. They use different anatomy and respond differently to age, injury, and drugs. Separating them helps explain why someone can have a firm erection but struggle to reach orgasm, or feel strong arousal yet have trouble maintaining an erection. Treating these as distinct components turned out to be very useful for understanding common sexual difficulties.

Multiple Choice

Helen Singer Kaplan's model is often credited with fixing a key gap in Masters and Johnson's original model. What did her model add?

AA resting phase that follows climax

BA separate plateau stage before climax

CThe idea that arousal builds up gradually

DDesire as a core part of sexual response

Basson's Intimacy Model

Both earlier models assumed desire comes first and pushes a person toward sex. Physician Rosemary Basson argued that this does not match many people's experience, particularly women in long-term relationships (Basson, 2001a). Her model is circular rather than linear. In it, a person may begin in a sexually neutral state, not feeling spontaneous desirei at all, but choosing to be receptive for reasons like intimacy, closeness, or wanting to fulfill a partner's needs (Jabs & Brotto, 2018). Once sexual activity begins, arousal builds, and desire follows from there. If the experience feels rewarding, it strengthens the motivation to seek sex again.

Basson's model does not deny that spontaneous desire exists, even in long relationships. It simply makes room for the very common experience of desire that shows up after arousal rather than before it. For a lot of people, that reframing helps to align sexual models with their real-world experiences.

Multiple Choice

Maria has been with her partner for years. She rarely feels a sudden urge for sex on her own, but once they start being affectionate she gets into it and enjoys herself. Which model of sexual response best fits Maria's experience?

AMasters and Johnson's four-phase model

BKaplan's triphasic model

CBasson's intimacy model

DThe dual control model

Comparing the Models

So which model is right? The real answer is that they describe different sexual experiences rather than competing for a single truth. A telling study described the Masters and Johnson, Kaplan, and Basson models to women and asked which one fit them best. Roughly equal numbers chose each one (Sand & Fisher, 2007). People's sexual response varies between people and between situations. Newer frameworks push further still. The dual control modeli, for example, proposes that response depends on the balance between sexual excitation and sexual inhibition, like a gas pedal and a brake (Bancroft et al., 2009). Across all of these, the big idea is the same: sexual desire and arousal play out in different ways across our bodies, most often resulting in similar patterns, such as a buildup of arousal and excitement that plateaus in orgasm.

Myths About Sexual Arousal

Few topics attract more speculation and outright falsehoods than sex. Here are four widely believed claims about arousal that the research does not support.

Myth 1: Aphrodisiacs work

Throughout history people have chased a food or potion that reliably switches on desire, from oysters to powdered rhinoceros horn to countless herbal supplements. The honest summary is that the search has failed. No food or supplement has been shown to boost sexual desire. When people do feel an effect, it is almost always the placebo effecti, the power of expecting something to work. Worse, some reputed aphrodisiacsi are dangerous. The classic example, Spanish fly, is not a love potion at all but a toxic irritant.

A small bottle of 'Spanish fly' sold as an aphrodisiac, which is actually derived from a toxic beetle compound. — **Figure 8.19.** While Spanish fly is often sold at gas stations as an aphrodisiac, it is actually derived from a toxic chemical found in beetles. When ingested, this chemical, cantharidin, can cause burning and sometimes blisters. In men, the burning sensation in the urinary tract can sometimes cause erection, which is what led to it being labeled an aphrodisiac (Schwarcz, 2021).

Myth 2: Alcohol makes sex better

This one trips up a lot of people. Alcohol is a depressant, and it actually dampens the body's physical arousal response. The pattern shows up across the research. A meta-analysis links heavier drinking to erectile dysfunction in men (Li et al., 2021), and a separate review ties alcohol use to sexual dysfunction in women (Salari et al., 2023). What alcohol does do is lower inhibitions and shape expectations, so people often feel more aroused and adventurous even as their bodies respond less. A small amount of alcohol may loosen someone up. Past that point, alcohol works against sexual functioning rather than assisting it.

A graph showing sexual arousal rising slightly after one or two drinks but declining sharply after three or more. — **Figure 8.20.** Having 1–2 drinks can loosen a person up, but typically 3 or more drinks cause significant declines in sexual arousal and performance.

Myth 3: Good sex should always be spontaneous

We can retire this one quickly, because Section 7.2 and Basson's model already dismantled it. The belief that healthy desire must strike out of the blue leaves a lot of people feeling broken when their desire is actually responsive. Responsive desirei, where arousal leads and wanting follows, is normal and common (Basson, 2001a).

Myth 4: If your body responds, you must be turned on

It is natural to assume that physical arousal and the feeling of being turned on are the same thing. They are not always in sync. Research on arousal non-concordancei finds that genital arousal and a person's subjective sense of wanting can line up surprisingly poorly, especially in women (Chivers et al., 2010; Meston & Stanton, 2019). A body can show signs of arousal without the person feeling desire, and a person can feel intense desire with a less obvious physical response. This is an important fact in its own right, and it matters for thinking clearly about consent, since a physical reaction never stands in for a person's actual wishes.

Multiple Choice

A woman notices physical signs of arousal during a situation she does not find appealing and does not want. What does research on sexual response suggest about this?

AHer body's reaction shows she secretly wanted it after all

BBodily arousal and the feeling of wanting do not always match

CShe is mistaking arousal from another source for desire

DAlcohol or fatigue is most likely blocking her true response

8.4 Asexuality

This chapter opened with the forces that pull people toward one another. It closes with the people for whom that pull rarely or never arrives. Some people seldom or never experience sexual attraction, and that experience has a name: asexualityi.

Defining Asexuality

Asexuality is best understood as a sexual orientation, one defined by little or no sexual attraction to others (Bogaert, 2006). It is important to separate it from celibacy. Celibacyi is a choice to abstain from sex, often for personal or religious reasons, while a celibate person may still feel plenty of attraction. Asexuality is not a decision. It is about the absence of the attraction itself. It is also worth clearing away some common misconceptions. Asexuality is not linked to autism, it does not come from childhood abuse or trauma, it is not repressed homosexuality, and it is not a cover story for a sexual problem such as erectile difficulty.

An illustration representing asexuality, showing a person content without sexual attraction toward others. — **Figure 8.21.** For many, but not all, people who self-identify as asexual, they simply have no desire for sex and don't experience sexual desire toward others.

Multiple Choice

Devin feels romantic love for their partner and wants a committed relationship, but has never felt sexual attraction toward anyone and is not holding back from sex by choice. Which term best describes Devin?

ACelibate

BDemisexual

CSomeone with a medical problem that needs to be treated

DAsexual

Diversity Within Asexuality

Asexual people are not all alike. Some report no interest in sex of any kind, including no desire to masturbate and no sexual fantasies. Others do masturbate and have fantasies, but feel little or no desire to share sexual activity with a partner. Many asexual people experience romantic attraction and want close, committed relationships, just without the sexual component. Some people, often called demisexuali, feel sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond. Asexuality, in other words, is a spectrum rather than a single fixed experience.

Multiple Choice

Which statement about asexual people is accurate, according to the chapter?

AThey all have no interest in masturbation or sexual fantasy

BMany of them still want close, committed romantic relationships

CTheir asexuality usually traces back to childhood trauma

DThey are simply people who haven't met the right partner yet

Study Guide

After reading Chapter 8, you should be able to answer each of the questions below. Use your own words where possible, and support your answers with examples or evidence from the text.

What Draws Us Together? Physical and Sensory Cues

What does research find about cross-cultural agreement on facial attractiveness? Describe the roles that masculinity/femininity, facial symmetry, and neonatal (babyface) features each play in determining how attractive a face is rated. Why might extremely masculine male faces actually work against attractiveness?
What is the waist-to-hip ratio, and what ratio is consistently rated most attractive in women across cultures? What broader principle does this preference reflect, and how does the study of lesbian women's preferences add to our understanding of this finding?
How does culture shape preferences for body weight and body mass, and how does this differ from cross-cultural consistency in waist-to-hip ratio preferences? Describe the study of Zulu men who relocated from South Africa to Britain as evidence for this point.
What does research show about the role of voice in attraction, including how pitch relates to hormones and what happens when women believe they are leaving a voice message for an attractive man? What does the research on pupil dilation suggest about how we read attraction in others' faces?
Describe the role of scent and smell in human attraction. What did Wedekind's t-shirt study find about scent preferences and the major histocompatibility complex (MHC), and what are the implications for women who begin or stop using hormonal birth control while in a relationship? What is androstadienone, and what have studies found about its effects?

The Psychology of Attraction

What is the attraction-similarity hypothesis, and what evidence supports it? Explain the concepts of reciprocal liking and self-verification theory, and describe what kind of reciprocal interest is most attractive according to the research.
How does proximity influence attraction, and what is the mere exposure effect? Why does familiarity sometimes work against attraction in long-term relationships, and what term describes this process? Describe the classic dormitory study as evidence for the role of proximity.
What is misattribution of arousal? Describe the suspension bridge study by Dutton and Aron (1974) in detail, including the design, the finding, and the explanation for why it occurred. What practical implication does this phenomenon suggest for early dating?

The Physiology of Arousal

Describe the two core physiological processes that underlie sexual arousal — vasocongestion and myotonia. For each, explain what it is and give at least two specific physical signs that result from it, including signs in both male and female bodies.
What is the ballooning response, and how does vaginal lubrication occur physiologically? What factors can slow or interfere with these responses?
Explain the role of the nervous system in sexual arousal, including the distinction between spinal reflexes and top-down (mental) arousal. What is the sacral nerve, and why can some people with spinal cord injuries still experience erections? How do the parasympathetic and sympathetic branches of the autonomic nervous system each contribute to sexual response?

Models of the Sexual Response Cycle

Describe Masters and Johnson's four-phase model of sexual response, including what characterizes each phase. How has the model been simplified by most researchers today, and what does the amended version of the model show about the variety of ways women can experience the arousal cycle?
What gap did Helen Singer Kaplan identify in the Masters and Johnson model, and how did her triphasic model address it? How does Kaplan's model map onto the distinction between the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems, and why does separating the components of desire, vasocongestion, and orgasm help clinicians understand sexual difficulties?
Describe Basson's intimacy model of sexual response. How does it differ structurally from the earlier linear models, what is spontaneous desire versus responsive desire, and for what population and context was Basson's model specifically designed to better account for? What does the Sand and Fisher (2007) study suggest about which model is "correct"?
What is the dual control model of sexual response? What are the two competing forces it describes, and what is the central insight this model adds to our understanding of why people vary so much in their level of sexual response?

Myths About Sexual Arousal

Evaluate each of the following four myths using evidence from the chapter: (a) aphrodisiacs reliably boost sexual desire, (b) alcohol makes sex better, (c) good sex should always be spontaneous, and (d) if your body responds physically, you must be turned on. For each myth, explain what the research actually shows and why the misconception persists.
What is arousal non-concordance? What does the research show about the relationship between genital arousal and subjective desire, and why does this finding matter for how we think about consent?

Asexuality

Define asexuality and explain how it differs from celibacy. What are at least three common misconceptions about asexuality that the chapter specifically addresses and refutes?
Describe the diversity of experience within asexuality, including what demisexuality means. What social challenges do asexual people commonly face, and what does the chapter say about the broader significance of asexuality for our understanding of human sexual experience?

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Key Terms

Androstadienone: A compound found in male sweat that is thought to act as a human pheromone. In some studies, men who wore it reported more sexual activity with partners, suggesting it made them more appealing to others.
Aphrodisiac: A food, drink, or substance reputed to boost sexual desire. Despite a long history of folk remedies, no aphrodisiac has been shown to work; any effect is usually the placebo effect.
Arousal non-concordance: A mismatch between physical (genital) arousal and the subjective feeling of being turned on. The two can line up surprisingly poorly, especially in women.
Asexuality: A sexual orientation defined by little or no sexual attraction to others. It is distinct from celibacy, which is a choice rather than the absence of attraction.
Attraction-similarity hypothesis: The idea that we are generally drawn to people who share our attitudes, values, and interests, rather than to our opposites.
Autonomic nervous system: The branch of the nervous system that controls automatic bodily functions. Its parasympathetic branch drives the build-up of arousal, while its sympathetic branch drives orgasm and ejaculation.
Ballooning response: The expansion of the inner part of the vagina during sexual arousal, produced by vasocongestion.
Body mass index (BMI): A measure of body weight relative to height. In Western cultures, men shown bodies without faces tend to rate a BMI between about 18 and 22 as most attractive, though this "ideal" varies across time and place.
Celibacy: A chosen decision to abstain from sex, often for personal or religious reasons. Unlike an asexual person, a celibate person may still feel sexual attraction.
Demisexual: Describing a person who feels sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond.
Dual control model: A model proposing that sexual response depends on the balance between sexual excitation and sexual inhibition, much like a gas pedal and a brake.
Excitement: The first phase of Masters and Johnson's model, marked by the initial build-up of arousal driven by vasocongestion.
Habituation: The weakening of a response after repeated exposure. In relationships it can dull sexual desire, helping explain why sexual frequency often declines over a long marriage.
Major histocompatibility complex (MHC): A group of immune-system genes that influence body odor. People tend to prefer the scent of others whose MHC genes differ from their own, which may promote healthier offspring.
Mere exposure effect: The tendency to like things more simply because we encounter them more often. It extends to faces, foods, songs, and even nonsense words.
Misattribution of arousal: Mistaking physical arousal caused by one source, such as fear or exercise, for romantic or sexual attraction to a nearby person.
Myotonia: Increasing muscle tension during sexual arousal. It is responsible for responses such as the nipples becoming erect.
Neonatal features: "Babyfaced" facial traits such as large eyes and round cheeks. We tend to find them appealing and to associate them with warmth and trustworthiness.
Orgasm: The brief, intense peak of sexual arousal and pleasure, often accompanied by ejaculation or rhythmic muscular contractions.
Parasympathetic branch: The part of the autonomic nervous system that drives the build-up of arousal, including erection and lubrication.
Pheromones: Odorless chemical signals secreted in sweat that may influence attraction and behavior in others, often without conscious awareness.
Placebo effect: An effect produced by the expectation that something will work, rather than by the substance itself. It accounts for most reported effects of aphrodisiacs.
Plateau: The phase of Masters and Johnson's model marked by high, sustained arousal just before orgasm. Most researchers now fold it into the late part of excitement.
Proximity: The tendency to form friendships and romances with the people we encounter most often. Also called the propinquity effect.
Reciprocal liking: The tendency to like people more once we learn that they like us.
Resolution: The final phase of Masters and Johnson's model, in which the body returns to its resting state.
Responsive desire: Sexual desire that arises after arousal has already begun, rather than appearing on its own. It is a normal and common pattern.
Sacral nerve: A nerve low in the spinal cord that can trigger erection by reflex, which is why some people with spinal cord injuries can still have erections.
Self-verification theory: The idea that we prefer partners who reflect back a version of ourselves that matches our own self-image.
Spinal reflexes: Automatic sexual responses, such as reflexive erection, that are controlled by the spinal cord rather than the brain.
Spontaneous desire: Sexual desire that seems to arise on its own, before any sexual activity has begun.
Sympathetic branch: The part of the autonomic nervous system that drives orgasm and ejaculation.
Triphasic model: Helen Singer Kaplan's model that recasts sexual response as three components: desire, vasocongestion, and the muscular contractions of orgasm. It was the first to add desire to the picture.
Vaginal lubrication: Fluid produced when arousal increases blood flow to the vaginal walls, causing fluid to seep through them. It is another result of vasocongestion.
Vasocongestion: The process in which blood flows into a region of the body faster than it flows out, causing the tissue to swell. It produces erection of the penis or clitoris and vaginal lubrication.

8.1 What Draws Us Together?

Reading the Face

Reading the Body

Beyond the Visual

The Psychology of Attraction

8.2 The Body Responds: The Physiology of Arousal

Two Core Processes

The Brain and the Spinal Cord

8.3 Models of the Sexual Response Cycle

Masters and Johnson: The Original Model

Kaplan's Triphasic Model

Basson's Intimacy Model

Comparing the Models

Myths About Sexual Arousal

Myth 1: Aphrodisiacs work

Myth 2: Alcohol makes sex better

Myth 3: Good sex should always be spontaneous

Myth 4: If your body responds, you must be turned on

8.4 Asexuality

Defining Asexuality

Diversity Within Asexuality

Social Challenges and Visibility

Study Guide

What Draws Us Together? Physical and Sensory Cues

The Psychology of Attraction

The Physiology of Arousal

Models of the Sexual Response Cycle

Myths About Sexual Arousal

Asexuality

References

Key Terms